Hotel Maid Service

Have you ever seen a black-light test performed on a seemingly normal hotel room? If you haven't, ignorance is bliss. Essentially it reveals all sorts of human stains from past tenants such as urine, semen, vomit, etc, etc and while these are just stains, some poor minimum wage maid had to clean them up initially. No thanks.

Donating Organs

It's a pretty common social courtesy to be registered as an organ donor upon your death but selling off pieces of yourself while you're still alive is probably not the most sensible way to make a buck.

Original Image Courtesy of Slap Upside The Head

Being Mel Gibson's Agent

With Mel Gibson's most recent domestic quarrel, coupled with his infamous anti-Semitic rant during his DUI arrest, the chances are good to great that he'll be D-listed. At this rate, there probably isn't much money in representing the former star.

Turning Tricks

What you do behind closed doors with your lover is your own business but when it's being done behind ten doors an evening with total strangers, you're going to want to take a good look at your life.

"You know we've had a lot of laughs tonight, but I'll tell you what's not funny; killing strippers. Strippers are people too, naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind a curtain in the VIP room. Besides, there's no need to kill them 'cause most of them are already dead inside." - Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Farm Fondler

When it comes to breeding animals on the farm, sometimes nature doesn't necessarily take its course. Luckily there are some people who get paid to "sexually stimulate" the animals in an attempt to extract their semen. All of the sudden the turning tricks from above doesn't seem so shameful!?

Slangin' Smack

It might be an acceptable living if you're the Top Dog running the area as your own boss but, if you're an average Joe Drug Dealer pushing product for The Man, the risk is entirely too great for the slim margins and lack of autonomy in your profession. Don't quit your day job!

Telemarketing

Imagine being paid to call people at their home, unsolicited, interrupting their personal life and attempting to sell them something they have zero interest in. Oh, the ear full one must get as a cold calling telemarketer.

Jerry Seinfeld: This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Seinfeld: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Seinfeld: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home?
Telemarketer: Umm, yes.
Seinfeld: Well, now you know how I feel.
[hangs up the phone]

Sewer Maintenance

When you flush your waste down the toilet, it may leave your sight but it goes into a whole other network of machines. Well, these systems can break down and when there is a malfunction, someone gets paid to wade through tons and tons of fecal matter to fix them. Not it!

Study Stool

In the name of science, some folk's sole profession is to handle and analyze people's stool (AKA: POO) - running a series of tests in an effort to detect certain diseases. True, they may be receiving doctoral wages but at what cost?

Donating Plasma

For a whopping $25 some folks choose to donate their plasma. While this sounds like a decent chunk of change (for a simple needle in the arm), the agreement generally requires two visits for one payment and with two trips to-and-from the clinic, it's probably not the most profitable endeavor.

Human Lab Rat

If you've never been afraid of a little experimentation, there's some hard-earned dollars in being a human lab rat. Yep, medical teams pay people that don't mind being poked and prodded at the risk of experiencing that list of possible side effects you hear on commercials: headaches, vomiting and bleeding from places that shouldn't bleed.

All of this said, if you're down to your last kidney and the plasma clinic has cut you off indefinitely, take a step up in the world and try your luck with a pay day loan company. After all, this list was brought to you by a quick loans company that knows there are worse ways to get your hands on some cash, but who are we kidding, not that many.